I feel awful. I said "f***k you" as a parting line (not the smartest thing to do, I know), and while part of me regrets it, part of me feels like I wanted to say it for a long time.
I think what pushed me over the edge was the classic "I decided I don't need to be around people who are going to be so negative or act in such a way". And it was like, its always you you you isn't it? If someone isn't pushing all the right buttons and making a merry song and dance for you, then its bye-bye. Did it ever cross your mind that friendship is a two way thing? That the other person has feelings too?
"I was so hurt and insulted by blah blah blah" YOU were hurt? YOU were insulted? Why do you think I reacted the way I did If I wasn't hurt, insulted? But obviously your the only victim here as always.
Ugh, and I know plenty of it is my fault, but it really, really gets my back up to be delivered the line "I don't need people like that in my life". No, you don't need a person who has covered your ass countless times, always turned a sympathetic ear, always been there for you, and would go to the f*****g ends of the earth for you because they genuinely CARE about you. If thats how you think, then no, you don't need a person like that in your life, and having obviously wasted so much of my time, f***k you feels damn appropriate.
Its five o'clock in the morning. And I know this only going to be more difficult tomorrow.
4 comments:
hang in there! been trying to call you for a while, but have been getting out of work too late for our time differences. why must IRL be ahead by 5 hrs of Boston? it's annoying...
*hugs*
You wrote this a couple of days ago... hope things are better now. {{virtual hugs}}
(P.S. Lis!! Lis!! I really really really want to know the answers to the problem based learning questions you posted awhile back! I'm trying to be patient, really I am, but I'm so curious!)
Sorry. This sucks so bad. I had a friend thing last week myself. It sucks.
Oh dear... like Xavi I got here a little too late...
I hate people like that... Fairweather friends who turn everything into ME ME ME. If it's not about them, they don't want to hear it.
Grr, I've had my fair share of those sorts of friends, and how bloody selfish and moronic and generally fuckwitted of them to say, in a grandiose, overbearing fashion, "Well, I don't need negative people like you in my life," when you've obviously done so much for her...
I think that it's you who doesn't need her in your life.
I hope things get better soon... at least things are out in the open with her...
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