What shall we ever do?

What do you do when a rift appears with no warning between you and someone whose friendship you value above all others?

When the days of uncomfortable silences lengthen into weeks. When you find them gone somewhere without inviting you. When they choose the company of other people. When they don't return your messages. And all of it you don't know why.

At the back of your mind is this vague discomfort that something is not right. It presses heavy in your chest, squeezes out sadness when it comes to mind, arouses a fleeting panic.

And afraid of worse, of a total loss, you say nothing, do nothing, pretend all is well,telling yourself the frost will thaw, that all will be well, that it must be well.

And at the same time you wonder if this is it, the last divide, and if this is the point where you sigh and say to yourself "all things come to an end", and move on.

But that though fills you with a sickening dread, because you know without their companionship to share you are less you, and you are not happy. And you cannot let go, move on because of the things that bind you together.

Day by day the unhappiness grows, and with it the confusion and hurt turn to anger. You know you are not blameless, you know you are imperfect, capable of hurt and malice and jealousy and all the things that tear people apart, and yet in your memory you can find no cause.

So what do you do? Apologise, beg, plead for forgiveness for something you are not sure of? Or carry on, waiting and hoping?

I don't know. But its starting to weigh too heavy.