A few things.

So, Ive calmed down a bit since that last post.... And I think Im going to do the optional spots exam for anatomy. I'm such a sucker for guilt. Only thing is, to bump my C- up at all I basically have to get an A+. Woo. And I thought my last week in college was going to be all smoothies in the sun....

Last week. Crazy. (Well, last week of class.) It seems like forever since I was counting down the days, dreading going to college. I can't believe it went so fast, and yet dragged so much as well. How many hours did I spend dreaming of my last day? I was just reading an (as usual) excellent blog from Suddenly Sudan. Which has got me pondering about time. I suppose we always want it to be whichever way it isn't.

I think I'm going to spend reading week at home. Which Ive never done before because I never get anything done there. But I think my head will explode if I spend any more time in the library, so I'm going to take my chances...

We have TWO whole weeks between our first two exams (which are on the same day!!!) and our last one. How ridiculous is that? Oh well... Lots of time to study, haha.

Spent most of last Wednesday night down in the equine hospital on Equine Emergency Team, a voluntary thing I signed up for. 3 sick foals, one with a cleft palate which is very rare! I had my first scary experience with a high-powered person in authority though. The super-vet-par-extroadinaire, Dr.K. She was in a baaad mood; "it just seems like to get anything done around here I have to do it MYSELF!!!!" And of course, I'm the duh first year student who is supposed to be desperately needed, but just seems to get in the way. And there was a little incident with an NG tube......unpleasant. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief when she left. Even the other resident (equal standing to her, and the nicest man ever) is terrified of her. I suppose I'd better get used to this kind of thing, scary consultants here I come! The one thing I have to say is that Dr.K was under a lot of pressure because they were severly short staffed, and she did ask me if she wanted me to get her to talk to my professor about the Viva I had to do the next day. Which I declined, because I figured I really hadn't put enough work in for a late night to ruin my chances! Lucky for me, the 5th year student on with me was a super super nice Botswanan, and we hit it off. So the night didn't drag at all. And the foals needed feeding every hour and the mares milking, so by the time we'd done all three we'd be back to the beginning again. I was lucky, I got the 9-3am shift, I felt bad for the girl coming on after me.

The other thing that happened last week was I broke The News. Not much of reaction I have to say,I was very dissapointed, just lots of fake happiness from the QPA's. Oh well! A girl can't always have the drama she wants!


So um, yeah I think that is all my fantastic news for now! I'll have to find something interesting to do so I can write a good blog....

Angry

So, I got a C- in my anatomy viva, not my best result ever,but I didn't fail, and I didn't bust my ass studying for it either, so Im ok with that. I'm leaving vet anyway!

So today, Ma asks me how I did. I could tell from the minute she walked into the room that she was in a bad mood. I should have expected it.

Her: "How did your exam go?"

Me: "C-"

Her: "oh. *Makes disapproving face and purses lips*"

Her: "And why is that?"

Me: "Um....I dunno..it was hard...I guess"

Her: "Well, it just seems to me that that is not the kind of grade you normally get, and a very poor indicator of your future performance. Are you going to have Viva's in medicine?"

Me: "No"

Her: "Hmm."



FFS! It is NOT the worst grade Ive ever got, and It doesn't even f***ing matter!!!! But no, it obviously means I'm going to be a complete failure as a person and as a doctor. Maybe I should just give it all up now, and save her the disappointment!

Nice....

This is an elegy that V is studying. She read it to me, and i just though it was really nice. Also, I thought it sounded very modern, but the author (Chidiock Titchborne, what a name!) died in 1586! He was executed for being Catholic, hence the death theme. Enjoy!

My prime of youth is but a frost of cares,

My feast of joy is but a dish of pain,

My crop of corn is but a field of tares,

And all my good is but vain hope of gain;

The day is past, and yet I saw no sun,

And now I live, and now my life is done.

My tale was heard and yet it was not told,

My fruit is fallen, and yet my leaves are green,

My youth is spent and yet I am not old,

I saw the world and yet I was not seen;

My thread is cut and yet it is not spun,

And now I live, and now my life is done.

I sought my death and found it in my womb,

I looked for life and saw it was a shade,

I trod the earth and knew it was my tomb,

And now I die, and now I was but made;

My glass is full, and now my glass is run,

And now I live, and now my life is done.

Ugh......

I really don't feel good, and I don't know why. And my vet anatomy oral exam is the day after tomorrow. And I know I haven't exactly put in the effort up to now, but this is really messing with my cramming plan!!!!

*nausea*

Ponderings.....

So I work in a GP's. Its the first job I've ever actually liked (Tesco was living hell), and its interesting too because I handle all the labs and consultants letters etc. so I learn about conditions.

Sometimes the things I get are very sad. I don't know why they seem so particularly poignant, but there is something about reading a matter-of-fact report on someones terminal illness, or how their baby died, or someone who committed suicide that seems to strike a nerve. Its strange from my end of things, because I will never actually meet these people, I will never know if I bump into one of them in the street, and yet I have their whole lives on a sheet in front of me. I sometimes look at the huge pile of papers and think about how each of those pages has a whole life behind it, all the people they know, their families, their colleagues, and how their medical condition will affect them all. What something so easy to write like "HIV+", or "abnormalities detected" actually means. And then I remember that I have to get on with my work, and I stop wondering.

I do realise that medicine has to be like that, to not dwell, to be able to function, to treat as many as possible, and that is a good thing. But I don't ever want to not be affected by the things I read. I don't want to become hardened and cynical, I don't ever want to forget that files and charts are people not just symptoms. Maybe I am naive, maybe I'm too young and inexperienced to realise "how it really is". I don't know. I just really hope that I will be a doctor who cares, and who doesn't forget about the people behind the diseases.

Best New Phrase

Ok, new and improved word for vajayjay, courtesy of House.

"Squish mitten"

LOVE IT!!!!!

Genius!

A friend sent me this link, and it is truly wonderful!

http://www.musicovery.com/

Currently listening to Mo'Better Blues......v chilled..... :)

Apparently...

The medical specialty for you is.... Internal Medicine

Internal medicine is better than any of the specialties. When a patient comes in for a check-up, you can send them home with a clean bill of health. And when a patient comes in with high blood pressure, you can prescribe one of a wide variety of drugs, including beta-blockers, diuretics, and ACE inhibitors. And when a patient comes in with some other problem, you will be able to refer them to one of a long list of your colleagues.

To find out what specialty best fits your unique personality, go to:

What Medical Specialty Is For You?


Hmm, I don't know. Ive been thinking about this (yes I know I should probably actually finish medical school before I decide) , and im liking Tropical Medicine/Paeds. The thing about paeds is that it must be so incredibly upsetting. And all the children will HATE you.

The last time I did it I got Ob/Gyn, which to be honest, does not appeal AT ALL!!! I don't think I could take vajayjay all day long. Then again, I am interested in womens health, and I suppose that would be fitting. And I do love FP Mama.

There is also this handy little chart.

Guess I'll just have to wait and see!

I wish....

I had an ass like this.

Summer thoughts

Everyone keeps asking "what are you doing for the summer?". I have no idea. Im probably going to keep at my job (in a GP's, doing scanning), but there is never enough work for full time. Which actually suits me pretty well except for the resulting cash deficit...

What I would really love to do is to go back to Zambia with V. We were there for a month in 2005, and it was amazing. We basically spent our time "teaching" (read trying to entertain and control) OVC's (orphaned and vulnerable children), and going on some outreach projects to the bush villages run by the hospice we worked for.

The problems there are never ending, and people have so much to be miserable about, and yet all you get are smiles and greetings when you walk down the street. A far cry from where I live, where everyone is fed and has healthcare and if you smile at them in the street, they look away. It is the most uplifting place, and I would love to go back.



Mary, the wonderful Irish nurse who runs the projects, is badly in need of money to feed the OVC's and staff, a total number of about 120. So trying to come up with some fundraising ideas here, anyone got any?

The hospice is run in conjunction with Kara Counselling. You can find out all about it here. Its a really great grassroots projects, and they are expanding all the time, trying to serve more of the community. They just built a new centre in the largest shanty town, Makululu. Here it is when it was almost finished.

You may not think it looks like much, but it will provide food and daycare for about 80 OVC's, have a VCT centre and hopefully a paediatric hospice wing for the really sick kids. Here it was at the start!

I would also LOVE to get to Zambia by taking the train from Dar-es-Salaam to Kapiri Mposhi. Its meant to be amazing, and I adore train rides. Apparently its like going on safari because the train cuts through all the parks, and you can see elephants, zebra, giraffe, birds etc. And its only 42hours (give or take general mayhem)!






So basically thats what im thinking about right now. When I should be concentrating on what dermatomes are.

So here we are now.....

How to begin? How did I come to be here?

Well, on a sunny afternoon as I was supposed to be studying, I decided to make Blogger my own.

Let me tell you a little something about me. I am currently in the final weeks of first year Veterinary Medicine in Dublin. I wont be coming back next semester, because I am going to go to Medical School in England instead! Bit of a career roundabout there allright...

How did I decide to switch from animals to people, and why?

I had always wanted to be a vet, for as long as I can remember (after the hairdresser/air hostess phase), and was extremely lucky to get a place in the Dublin vet school. But then I took a gap year, and volunteered in different places around the world. I suddenly realised that this was what I wanted to do with my life, and in my eyes vet just didn't seem to fit. It took me a long time to admit to myself that I actually wanted to become a doctor. It was so hard to give up the idea of becoming a vet after so long......And then there was the whole "how on earth am I going to get into med school????"

After about 5months of turning it over in my head I decided I had nothing to lose, and that if I thought I wanted it, I should go for it. One of the things I decided on my gap year was that I didn't ever want to give up on my dreams and live a life of compromise. Cheesy and idealistic as that sounds. My actual options were pretty limited as far as I could see: I didn't have the points for Ireland,the UK was damn near impossible to get in to, and Eastern Europe was looking like the only realistic(if expensive and unappealing) option. But I gave the UK a shot, and to my continuing amazement, Ive been offered two places! I thank my lucky stars every day because I know how fortunate I have been to get my dream, when so many others never do.

The people in Vet don't know yet, except for Lis, who is amazing, and completely supportive and a fantastic writer to boot! The others....well....lets just say I get the feeling they're not too keen on medics. Take the girl who wears a hoodie with "REAL DOCTORS TREAT MORE THAN ONE SPECIES" on it as an example.

Its going to be interesting when I break the news....

Only a few weeks to go, and I can't wait to be finished! So fed up with this whole thing now. Im probably going to fail everything because my motivation to study is nil.

Oh well. We'll just have to wait and see!