Just do it!

Can't motivate myself to study. I'm daydreaming about pretty much everything else under the sun except work.

Doesn't help that its 24degrees today and absolutely gorgeous, and I'm a complete sun worshipper.

Want to go outside!!!

Ugh.

The worst part is I really absolutely cannot afford to fail any of these exams. Two reasons; resits are when I'm in Zambia, and I'll lose my scholarship, which I really need.

Ok. Time to focus.

Half way

So the OSCE and my SSS presentation went fine, after all my worrying!

Now comes the worst part.....the written paper.

Too much to learn....too little time.....as usual. And its sunny, so all I'm thinking about is sunbathing!

This day two weeks I'll be home for the summer. Seems surreal to think about.

Right..... breakfast time.

Stress

It's begun


The fear. The terrible terrible fear of exams has set in. The dread. The despair. The feeling of nothing being enough.


I feel like I don't know anything - which is stupid because I know I do. There's plenty I don't know, but I haven't gone through the year without absorbing some stuff.

First OSCE tomorrow. It shouldn't be hard. Only 6 stations. I just keep thinking what if they ask this? or that? or go into detail on x y or z.

Eek.

K, gotta go and get back to it.

Progress...

A friend of mine did his last OSCE of med school today. Now, he will become a junior doctor, and begin his career.



I find it kind of scary. The thought of thatt eventually being me is daunting.

But, at the same time, I wish I was already there, and not about to go into the 2nd year of 5.

And as usual I'm massively behind on revision.

Still writing up my patient cases, and the OSCE is the day after tomorrow. It's not the last exam though!! Plenty more to go...

Ugh, I hate being at this point, where it's all about to begin. I just want to finish and go home!!!

I've been tagged...

For the first time ever...which is kind of nice.....makes me feel special, lol!

Ok, so 7 songs I've been listening to this week.

Well, thanks to Tayaki, my first 3 are going to be My Moon My Man, 1234, and I Feel It All by Feist.
4. Dance With You - Machel Montano
5. Bouger Bouger - Magic System
6. Wearing My Rolex - Wiley
7. Respect Yuh Wife - Ce'Cile.


Definitely a more dancey vibe this week......


Still can't sleep.

have tried melatonin, hops+valerian, warm shower, more bedclothes, less bedclothes, going to bed early, going to bed late, exercising to tire myself out........

Nothing works!!!

Any help at all would be much appreciated.


Oh, and If you're reading, consider yourself tagged!

Grr

I don't appreciate my flatmates who have already finished running around screaming and making noise and playing massively loud music so that my room vibrates.

Not when I still have a month to go.

Argh, shut the fuck up!!!! Stupid fucking creative writing students.........

If I get woken up at 4 am, I won't be a happy bunny. And I'm not nice when I'm woken up. I've been known to get quite irate. Especially when insomnia is making sleep very precious.

Sorry, needed to let that out.

I can't sleep

And its driving me insane.

So tonight, I'm not going to bed until I am near catatonic.

Its times like this I wish I was already qualified and could get some kind helpful colleague to write me a script for something lovely and sleep-inducing......mmmm....drugs....

On other notes, I haven't posted in a while, so apologies, to any of you who may still be reading. No real excuses on my part other than laziness.

Exams are fast approaching and I'm panicking. Feeling absolutely overwhelmed by it all. Projects due, barely started, cases to write up, only one done, weeks and weeks of PBL to revise, anatomy (sweet mary mother of god ANATOMY!!!! my worst enemy!!!!) to attempt to learn, physical exams, consultation skills........ the list seems endless.

Does this perhaps explain why I can't sleep? Perhaps.

On a positive note, I did manage to (somehow, I have no idea how) get a distinction on that abominable essay I had to write over Easter....

Wow, Easter seems a long time ago.

Tayaki has finished, and I think this is the only time I wish I was still in vet school. Also, the thought that this is the best it will be and that summer holidays will be even shorter next year kinda bums me out.

The other good thing that is happening, is that I'm taking 5 other med students out to Zambia this summer. Will write a post about that later...... I may even ask for your money......

So that's my life at the moment. You're probably thinking I would have been better off staying on hiatus......