I think....

That someone is tap-dancing on my ceiling...... That's what it sounds like anyway....

Things are good.

Not my usual tone of title but that's how I feel!
I've managed to get over my induction week freak-out (haha, they were just trying to scare us), and I'm feeling well settled in.

We had our first PBL case this week and I think it went pretty well. I definitely haven't done enough study from it, but, hopefully, I will, and apart from that the seminars and wrap-up and all that stuff went fine which suits me just dandy!

A lot of people are complaining that the course isn't challenging enough, and it is a well known fact (the course directors even spelled it out) that our first semester isn't exactly open-heart-surgery stimulating kind of stuff... But, having been through part of a course where I was completely shattered from the workload of the first semester, I am ok with this. I know it will get a lot harder ( and only after Christmas, come on people, its hardly 3months!) soon enough. And I think its good that we get to grips with how this course is structured before the work piles on.

Had "consultation skills" this week. Now I know a lot of med students and doctors bitch about these classes because they think its all too touchy-feely, namby-pamby and completely pointless in the practice of clinical medicine. Well, I don't think it is. Ok, some of the stuff does seem silly (there is an awful lot of "how does that make you feel?", and personally, if a Dr asked me what I "was hoping to get out of the consultation today" I would have a very low opinion of their competence). But on the whole I think its a really good thing. And the weird thing is (even though the interview process was supposed to weed these ones out) you can already see who are going to be the hard ass "people-are-diseases-so-treat-them-that-way" kind of doctors. And I think consult skills will do them a lot of good. And they do teach you some useful stuff that will really make it easier for us I think. So, so far so good. Plus, roleplay is all about the acting which I LOVE!!!

Not so excited about having to read scientific papers, but oh well I suppose its good to get us started young......

And next week, I get to go and poke real live people......woot!

Possibly the best thing about this uni though is the fact that it has an olympic size swimming pool. Swimming makes me happy. And I just went this afternoon, which possibly accounts for my overly cheery & optimistic tone.

Watch this space for a return to form....

London Baby!!!

I have the whole day free tomorrow, so I am going to take advantage of this and head down to the bright lights to see V, who I miss terribly!!!



And maybe even....oh the excitement.......ROLLER DISCO!!!!!

I don't think I'll be looking quite like the above though.

Fingers x'd!

Daunted

Well, after one thing or another I am arrived! Have nearly done my first week at med school....

How was it for me? Well... SO much stuff has been difficult and awkward and frustrating, namely;

Trying to get a bank account if your not English is an extremely lengthy and fussy process.

Trying to get a mobile phone if you don't have a bank account is impossible.

Paying accomodation fees is impossible if you don't have a bank account.

Registering for anything is more difficult if you don't have a mobile phone.

Connecting to the internet in my room was a NIGHTMARE.

Buying train tickets online is flat out IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!

None of this stuff has put me in a good mood. And this week has been super dull 'cos its all intro lectures. But hopefully, (PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE) things will improve next week when things get going for real.

I guess whats really bothering me (and making me so damn whiny) is that I hate going through all that not-knowing-anyone-well phase. Its makes you feel very lonely in the acres of free time that you have... But I know this has to be gone through, and I will get over it very soon. Its just getting there.....

I have to say everyone on the course seems very friendly. I have a few friends...Mostly graduates, as being somewhere between school leaver and graduate I think I fit in with them better. I hope this all gets easier soon! But as they say, life isn't easy.

The course seems well structured, but its going to take a bit of getting used to the PBL-based format (which obviously I chose for a reason, but after my bad experiences in Vet I've been a bit put off)

The older years say our first year is basically a bit wishy-washy and crap, but I think (hope) thats what you realise when you go on to the more complex/stimulating material in higher years.

We've been given an absolutely enormous "registration pack" containing a daunting amount of information, the focus of which is mostly "standards of professional behaviour", "fitness to practice", "how not to get sued/thrown out of med school", "don't f**k up or we'll kill you" and last but not least "YOU HAVE RESPONSIBILITIES, YOU ARE NOW A HEALTH PROFESSIONAL, NEVER FORGET THIS".



I think I'm just feeling a little daunted by the whole thing. I wasn't expecting to, after having tried so hard to get here, and thought it all through, and been so excited and looked forward to it for so long....and now I just feel nervous and uncertain. The way ahead seems too steep and arduous, the pressures and responsibilities too great, the workload too heavy. Even though I knew this is what medicine is, even though I thought I was, somehow, despite everything, I don't feel ready.

Today's the day..

The teddy bears have their pic-nic.....


No, sorry, its actually the day I move into my room. Getting well nervous now. Have been round to the Uni to try and open a bank account etc., I still don't really think I'm staying. I feel like I'm on holidays. Unfortunately, the holidays are over for a very long time now.....

Panic

Its 10pm. I have to get up at 5am..... And I'm still packing


SH**T!!!!!!!




Oh man oh man oh man oh man...........

Dear Lord WHY am I on the internet??? This is soo not helping!!

Packing

Tomorrow we load the car... I seem to have a ridiculous amount of stuff. Have said a few goodbyes now and am starting to get sad. I know I'm not going very far away, and I do love travelling and have never been homesick before, but this feels different. Probably because I'm going to do my degree which = stress, and because its more or less 7 years.......



Pic is just a few of my boxes.

I think its finally sunk in that I'm leaving.....eek!

Balance

This is a post that I have wanted to write for a long time, but as soon as I start to think about it the arguments go around and around in my head and I give up on the idea!

Basically I want to talk about body weight. Over, and under, the two sides of the coin (and the debate).

As a young female, I would have to admit that weight, body size and shape are topics that are often not far from my mind. I stress over being "fat" frequently, have a horror of changing room mirrors and exposing my flesh. I know I am not alone in this, I know plenty of girls (and women) who do the same. But it still wrecks my head, because I don't think it should be this way, and with a BMI of 23, I know that it shouldn't be this way.

Then we have the other problem, obesity is on the rise (I even posted about it), and all the things that come with it (diabetes, heart disease; we all know what they are!) It is a fact that more of us are overweight than underweight. Walk down any street in Ireland and I am sure that you will see more people that you would grade as "fat" in your mind, than as "healthy".

So where is the balance? On the one hand we (women mostly I think, and please acknowledge that I am generalising hugely and that not everyone will agree) have this huge media and social pressure to be thin. There is a constant projection of thin =successful, thin=attractive, & thin=healthy around us, and so in our minds, thin=enviable,thin= desirable, thin =what we want to be. Remember girls, you can never be too rich or too thin. I say that not without a certain amount of bitterness.

I hate that I get upset about my figure, I hate the way I feel I would be better if I were thinner, I hate always feeling self-conscious about my body, I hate the way I dream up crazy weight-loss schemes in my head, I hate that I am jealous of friends who are slimmer than me, and worst of all I hate that fact that I am supposed to be beyond all this. Especially because going into health sciences, and being very aware of what constitutes "healthy", and having worked in countries where being thin meant that you were poor and/or ill, where food was so precious, having cared for a child who was so malnourished that their skin was peeling off, having seen real hunger.......... I really should know better.



















Two close friends of mine have battled with eating disorders, one of them had to be hospitalised. I doubt either of them even now having "overcome" will ever have a good mentality about food and bodyweight. They are both intelligent, together girls from good homes, who are going on to pursue high-flying careers. I know of maybe two or three others who were in my year at school. So how many out of the general population are suffering, tormented?

Recently I read an article on BBC about "pro-ana" and "pro-mia" groups on myspace and other networking sites where girls egged each other on to get thinner and thinner. Surely it couldn't be true could it? Being a member of MySpace I did a search there. What I found made me absolutely sick. It was all true and some of it was literally unbelievable. How could people think these things?? Almost all had warning labels along the lines of "If you are not serious about ana (anorexia) or are just going to disapprove, you may not join. Ana is a lifestyle choice not an illness" This was on one of the girls pages. Supposedly "thinspiration". Underneath it a girl had written "I love this vid...thanks for all the help!"
More thinpriation =)
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How could you look at these pictures and see perfection not illness. This video makes me really sad, and deeply uneasy. Check out this girls profile if you really want to feel queasy.

And then there's the other side of the coin. The fact that we are facing an obesity epidemic. Fact: Nearly two thirds of men and half of women in the UK are either overweight or obese. And that isn't good either is it? Officially there are 1bn overweight people in the world. At the same time as having fashion and the media push the thin is beautiful image at us, we have food and drinks companies pushing the "eat eat eat" idea at us. How many times have chocolate bar companies used the "go on, you deserve it" line to push high-calorie, nutritionally empty products at us?

Below the Mars Delight, specifically marketed to women, and containing 22okcals and 14g of fat.

Is it any surprise that people are ending up like this?




My question is where is the balance? How do we find a healthy middle ground? What is the future going to be? I cannot clear this subject in my own mind.

Love is wicked....

LOVE this song! (Courtesy of V) Diwali rhythm kills every time. And the dancers in the vid are amazing. (Vid is v sexy, if you are prudish don't watch!!)