Friday 31 August 2007

Hmm.....

You Are: 50% Dog, 50% Cat

You are a nice blend of cat and dog.
You're playful but not too needy. And you're friendly but careful.
And while you have your moody moments, you're too happy to stay upset for long.

Emotional

Last day was very sad. I got a beautiful pair of Swarovski crystal earrings and the sweetest card from everyone!


I wasn't expecting anything at all...so touched. All the doctors wished me the best, and there was lots of hugs from the secs. Oh, I hate goodbyes!

Wooooooooooo!!!!!


Today is my last day of work. Have to take a trip to the orthodontist, and then I'm in for a half day! I'm actually a little sad in some ways.. I'll miss the girls. But man alive I won't miss the smears!

Medicine is getting very close.

Got allocated my room yesterday, it would be the other side of campus to my faculty of course! Ah well, its still really nice. And omg, I can't believe this, but they have cleaners for the rooms!!! That's crazy! I feel so spoiled.

Monday 27 August 2007

Thursday 23 August 2007

Some news

First I would like to say thank you thank you thank you!!! To all the people who commented on my last post, it really does mean a lot. I'm glad to say I think things are working out. At least I hope so. I think sometimes shouting can be very cathartic..........

Not much else going on with me, countdown 2 weeks till I leave!!! Eek! And even better one week and one day till I finish work!!!! Can't wait! This week has been awful. Just as I thought I was getting really good at my job, I seem to regress back to the state of incompetent nicompoop par extroadinaire. So I'm glad the week is nearly over. It seems like I couldn't get anything right this week, even the charts hated me. Hmm....I wonder what effect positive thinking has on these kind of situations!

I think I accidentally called someone who wasn't actually pregnant pregnant today.....yikes. Note, in future, don't ask if its the maternity benefit form they have with them before they tell me what the form actually is.

Other things to write about, but feeling rather on the sleepy side o things, so I think I will head for bed! Goodnight to you all, wherever you are!

Sunday 19 August 2007

This is so pointless

I just had a huge fight with my closest friend.

I feel awful. I said "f***k you" as a parting line (not the smartest thing to do, I know), and while part of me regrets it, part of me feels like I wanted to say it for a long time.

I think what pushed me over the edge was the classic "I decided I don't need to be around people who are going to be so negative or act in such a way". And it was like, its always you you you isn't it? If someone isn't pushing all the right buttons and making a merry song and dance for you, then its bye-bye. Did it ever cross your mind that friendship is a two way thing? That the other person has feelings too?

"I was so hurt and insulted by blah blah blah" YOU were hurt? YOU were insulted? Why do you think I reacted the way I did If I wasn't hurt, insulted? But obviously your the only victim here as always.

Ugh, and I know plenty of it is my fault, but it really, really gets my back up to be delivered the line "I don't need people like that in my life". No, you don't need a person who has covered your ass countless times, always turned a sympathetic ear, always been there for you, and would go to the f*****g ends of the earth for you because they genuinely CARE about you. If thats how you think, then no, you don't need a person like that in your life, and having obviously wasted so much of my time, f***k you feels damn appropriate.

Its five o'clock in the morning. And I know this only going to be more difficult tomorrow.


Monday 13 August 2007

Oh me oh my.....

Got a huge pack of info from my Med School today, kinda freaked me out a little too..... Up till now I've just felt completely excited about going, but with an actual timetable in my hands it felt just a little scary... All those new people, that whole getting to know the scene thing all over again.... And its in another country, with no going home at the weekend.

I don't know why I'm being such a pussy, being away from home has never fazed me before.. I think its also because I'm not a huge "going out" person. I mean, I love going out to something good, with my friends, knowing I'm gonna be relaxed and have fun. But the whole going out to get "smashed" and all the girls in minuscule items of clothing and the general drunken leeriness....Just doesn't really float my boat. But maybe that's just because Dublin is especially bad for it. And a lot of the freshers week stuff is like that. I have to say though, the Uni MedSoc seems to have lots of other things going on, so hopefully all will be well! I know I'm fretting unnecessarily, it'll all be fine. So many people I'm gonna miss....

Oh the excitement/nervous anticipation......... woopee!!

Tuesday 7 August 2007

Seriously??????




SERIOUSLY?

WHY?????

Now usually I don't protest much about the whole science "messing with nature" thing because its usually a whole lot of hot air by some hippies.

But this really is taking things too far. See All Scrubbed Up for some good reasons why this is lunacy(and where I stole this blog topic from)

Geesh.

Saturday 4 August 2007

So um yeah.......

Its been a while allright! What with the job and having a Spanish student staying with us at the moment, i've been a little absent from the internet.

So whats new? Well, nothing much. I think the rain finally stopped after something like 64 consecutive days, which is a minor improvement. At least we haven't got the floods like the UK!

I am finishing my job in exactly one month, yipee!!! And then two weeks later Im off to med school. It feels really surreal, because I don't really believe that I'm actually going to train to be a doctor yet....but its getting closer and closer. It been a strange summer, without any holidays away, and I kinda wish I hadn't just worked for all of it. Soon it will be the dreaded winter again...... I just really hope I like my course enough not to mind!

So many things to do that I have been ignoring. Haven't bought flights over, don't know where I'm living, and haven't even thought about what to pack! Oh dear......

Its very strange, but it just so happens that basically all my friends are also moving away this year. I think its due to the ERASMUS effect, but its kinda weird, we're all preparing to emigrate at the same time. Except that I'll be gone for a lot longer of course....

I've been thinking an awful lot about medicine recently (well surprise surprise you say) , and not in a good way, but I blame it on the the job. I think I'm getting jaded and bitter, and I haven't even started yet ffs! We just get so much shit from people, and none of them seem to appreciate anything we do, it makes me wonder what being the actual doctor will be like. I hope that getting to treat will make the difference. I used to wonder how doctors could become so cynical and hardened, but now I completely get it. I just really hope that I can maintain enough of my enthusiasm not to be one of them. And sometimes I wonder if I'm making the right decision. Medicine takes you over, you basically sign away your life the minute you enrol, and sometimes I think that maybe I should consider doing something a little lighter, with less demands and responsibility. I wonder all the time if I'm up to the job.

But at the same time, I can't think of anything else I want to do. Veterinary is definitely out at this point I think. Do any of the other medstudents out there feel like this? Ugh, I blame the lack of sunlight on all this negativity.




Also, it seems that a lot of our patients have been quite ill (for once). Brain tumours, breast cancer, paranoid schizophrenia, ms, HIV, you name it, we got it! And its quite sad. It always seem to happen to the nice people too; why is life such a bitch like that?

As you can see, all joy and light here. Its a long weekend I should be happy!

Oh, and my own body is deciding to f**k me over at the moment. Now I've had chondromalacia patella for the last say 6 years, and it just gets worse and worse. I went to see a consultant, he was a lovely man, but he said "this is the most common knee disorder I see, we don't really know what causes it and there is basically nothing we can do to treat it, you can try the exercises, some people find it gives them some relief from the pain, but not everyone, and there is no cure". If I'm lucky I'll grow out of it. The one thing that really has helped are MBT's, they've made life bearable. Before I got them I was at my wits end. So if you have C.P, GO AND BUY A PAIR NOW!!! Seriously. They are incredibly ugly and expensive, but they are worth it a thousand times over.


But anyway, last 4 days for a reason unknown to me my left knee has been v swollen and painful, and then of course the pain travelled to my hip. I don't know why it does this, Im guessing some shared nerve pathway or something, but either way, when it does, I'm seriously sore. Sitting hurts, standing hurts, walking hurts, everything hurts!!!! And I know that there are people much worse off, with terrible incurable conditions, I know! But I'm only 19, and I feel like I have the joints of a 90 yr old. My granny is more limber than me. And no one can tell me why, and none of the fookin dr's will give me pain relief!!!! I just want to function!!!! Anyway, I'm going to the doc on wed, lets pray I get some anti-inflammatories this time. Not just the old "take paracetamol(acetaminophen)" IT DOESN'T WORK!!!!!

So that's my moan. And there's lots of it! Apologies to all.

Someone tell me something happy, please!